Some things you’ll learn that no other parenting book will tell you:

How to develop the “mommy mojo” to deal with difficult children
Simple, fun ways to help your child learn that are more effective than “womb schooling” and academic pressure
How to use the “Husband Handoff Maneuver” and “bedtime Brownie points” to get your husband to do more with the kids
How to save the family income from going down the “Money Drain” on unnecessary expenses
Tips on avoiding “nannyangina” and picking the right nanny
Guidelines for play-dates: which children to weed in or weed out
The best and worst stress-busters
A seven-point program for recharging your libido without drugs or hormones
Ways to counteract anxiety-causing habits common to moms, like abduction paranoia
Why the Big “B”—balance—is the new height of ecstasy for moms and how to have it
The right way to do homework with your children

Get a sneak peek at this unique and refreshing parenting book and some of the terrific glossary terms created by the authors that will soon be on everyone's tongue:

BOOK EXCERPT:

DEVELOPING MOMMY MOJO

Are you a mom or a mouse? That is the question you must start asking yourself even before you give birth. Unless you make up your mind early on that you will not be easily influenced or intimidated by others concerning your role as a mother, the seeds of suckermotherhood may get sown along with your fertilized ovum. As a mother you will be constantly subjected to mettle-testing pressure from two sources—the outside world and your own child. From the outside world an endless stream of advice, admonitions, and expectations will be thrust upon you by family and friends, strangers on the street, pregnancy and childcare experts (many of them contradictory), and that vast army of people who want to sell you something. From your child will come an endless testing of your authority and resolve.

Only one thing can save you from becoming a hostage to other people’s opinions or the kind of mother who is a nervous wreck because of her child and a pushover who always caves into pressure. Your salvation is having mommy mojo, the female equivalent of balls. Mommy mojo is what separates the smart moms from the suckermothers. Vis-à-vis the outside world, mommy mojo is the power to make your own decisions about how to be a good mother, what kind of role model you want to be, and what values you want to impart to your child. When it comes to your child, mommy mojo is the power to not let yourself get kid-whipped; to deal calmly and firmly in trying situations and not become hysterical or explode in helpless anger; to make rules of acceptable behavior and enforce them; to say no to unreasonable requests; to resist buying your children’s love and turning them into “give me” kids; to make time for yourself and not put everyone else’s needs before your own; to ask for help when needed (yes, being able to ask for help is a sign of strength, not weakness) and not back down and do everything yourself.

Some women come by their mommy mojo naturally, but as this chapter will show you, it can be learned. And once you learn it and practice it rigorously at every opportunity day after day, like reps in a workout routine, it will redesign you from a flabby parental weakling into a well-toned model parent. Unlike the mojo in the Austin Powers movies, mommy mojo doesn’t come in a vial and isn’t constantly running out and having to be replaced. It’s inside you, the secret element in your fiber, always there for you to draw upon again and again to help you deal

with the more difficult challenges of parenthood and come out on top.

GLOSSARY:

lactation Nazi: someone who insists you must breast feed until your child is old enough to buy milk at the store

babymania: the belief that parenthood is a divine state of being and that an adult who is not obsessed with creating and raising a perfect child will rot in hell

car butt: a widening and flattening of the buttocks into a straight line caused by sitting for prolonged period of time in the seat of a car

Infantzeimer’s: a condition common to mothers, especially those with newborns, characterized by confusion, memory loss, and the inability to think rationally or speak in intelligible sentences

mealus interruptus: a tendency to gulp down every meal you sit down to eat, always expecting to be interrupted by your child or husband

Mother’s Law: If anything with a child can be blamed on the mother, it will be.

momster: a self-appointed, judgmental capo of motherhood who has less than perfect moms on her “hit list”

über-mom: the quintessential earthmother who thinks she has to have natural childbirth, breastfeed, bake homemade cookies, wash and iron her children's clothes to perfection, make sure their socks and sneakers are snowy white, and leap tall school buildings in a single bound

suckermother: a mom rabidly obsessed with turning out a perfect child who will grow up to be smarter than Einstein and richer than Bill Gates

smart mom: a woman committed to her child but not committable because of her child

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